


Talking to Myself

by InkRavens



Category: Naruto
Genre: KakaIru Mini Bang 2020, M/M, Soulmates, a bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:16:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24911470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkRavens/pseuds/InkRavens
Summary: There was a theory. The Soulmate Theory. It was as old as the trees in the forest and the streams and the mountains around the Village. The theory was that everyone's inner voice was actually their soulmate. That when two people are reincarnated and meant to be together a small piece of their souls stays with the other to take care of them. A conscience of sorts.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka
Comments: 13
Kudos: 217
Collections: KakaIru Mini Bang 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> "If all the world hated you and believed you wicked, while your own conscience approved of you and absolved you from guilt, you would not be without friends."  
> -Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre
> 
> I own nothing. Be kind I have l not written anything like this in... well, a long time. (12+years? Damn. I'm old).

There was a theory. The Soulmate Theory. It was as old as the trees in the forest and the streams and the mountains around the Village. The theory was that everyone's inner voice was actually their soulmate. That when two people are reincarnated and meant to be together a small piece of their souls stays with the other to take care of them. A conscience of sorts. 

Kakashi had always thought the voice in his head, the nagging insistant voice, the one that sighed everytime he did something stupid, the one that audibly rolled its eyes at him everytime he escaped the hospital, the one that sounded warm everytime he pretended he didnt care about sakura, sasuke or naruto, the voice that he carried with him his whole life, he had always thought it was how his brain prosessed the loss of his teammates and Obitos eye. He had heard of people associating the voice in their head with their soulmates. How it tended to become a loved ones voice they would hear. But again he always assumed that was just a coping mechanism or from spending too much time with another person. 

It wasn't until he was out one evening walking through the village with his nose in his book that the voice became recognizable. Truly recognizable that is. And it wasn't like they described it to be either (they being just about everyone obsessed with The Soulmate Theory), it wasn't some grand experience. No light flooded his senses, electric pulses didn't go through his body, warmth didn't flood his chest and his heart rate stayed a neutral steady rhythm.

For Kakashi the realization of who his soulmate was, was merely an amused passing thought. The voice had rolled its eyes at a particularly cheesy scene in his book, commenting, _I cannot believe this passed through an editor and actually got published. Naurto could write a better scene than this._ Kakashi had smiled and paused in his reading at the familiar voice. His only thought being, _Heh. Sounds like Iruka_. 

The thought repeated itself in a questioning echo causing Kakashi to stop in the middle of the street and lower his book slightly.

He looked around. For what he didn't know. A Yamanaka to read his thoughts? Iruka himself to be there nagging him about reading porn in public? But the only thing he got was the thought being turned over in his mind. 

Iruka was his inner voice?

Iruka was the voice in his head?

Not obito. Not Rin. Not Minato Sensei. Not his father.

 _Iruka_.

Kakashi couldn't quite place when that had happened. Maybe the stories about soulmates were true? Maybe all the psychics were onto something? Maybe it had _always_ been Iruka?

These thoughts circled in his mind as he walked home with his book in his hand. As he made dinner. As he brushed his teeth. As he stared at the ceiling in the dark. _Iruka_ . With his warm hands, kind eyes, fiery temper, and accepting nature. _Iruka_. 

His first memory of the voice had been as a child. He had snuck into his father's room while he was on a mission. He knew he wasn't supposed to be there but he missed him very much. The voice had sounded its disapproval as Kakashi picked the lock on the door and walked into the quiet room. But then as Kakashi was lying on his father's bed, enveloped in his father's scent as if he was there, it had said "i suppose this is okay." Then kakashi fell asleep. It was clear back then but now the memory of it was muddled. Kakashi tried his best to focus on what the voice had sounded like. Was it feminine? Masculine? Did it have slang like an Uchiha? but even now he couldn't be sure. He had warped the memory in his mind and bent it to fit his needs at the time. 

Kakashi sighed and closed his eyes reaching out in his mind for the voice. The voice that made him feel known and not so alone all the time. When nothing happened for a few minutes he asked,

"Where are you?" 

_I'm right here_.

Kakashi bolted up. There was no doubt. It was Iruka. He quickly threw the blanket off of himself and got dressed. 

He checked his clock which read 1045pm. 

It was late. 

But it was a weekend night.

Which meant Iruka had the evening shift at the Mission Desk.

Which meant he would still be awake. 

Kakashi used the window instead of the door. 

  
  


\---

Iruka had known for a long time who the voice in his mind was. It didn't speak often so he had treasured every word it had said back when his parents had died. Every word made him feel less alone. When he realized it was Kakashi he had kept quiet knowing that the other man didn't believe in The Soulmate Theory. 

In all honesty the voice was just as annoying as the man was in person. Often interrupting Iruka's lessons or thoughts as he read. Sometimes pointing out a bird or a flower for no apparent reason. Urging Iruka to tell someone that they had something in their teeth even when they didn't, simply because they were being an ass.

It wasn't like Iruka was looking for a relationship. It wasn't like he would say no to one either. He was content to let it be. Kakashi clearly didn't seem to know or care and Iruka had enough to worry about with his classes and the mission desk and checking in on Naruto and... maybe if he was being honest with himself that was why he was working as much as he was. Maybe it was because he was avoiding thinking about it. _Maybe you should talk to someone about it._ The voice supplied unhelpfully. Iruka sighed as he put his mug of tea on the counter.

"Right. Right after you admit that we are soulmates." He shook his head.

"So you knew?" Iruka whipped around and threw the mug at Kakashi's face out of pure reflex. 

Kakashi dodged it but the mug smashed against the wall.

"Kakashi-san! Why are you in my house?" Iruka screeched. Kakashi peeled his eyes away from the mess of a mug and pouted at Iruka.

"Because we are soulmates, apparently." He sighed as he squatted down to pick up the ceramic pieces. 

"I-" Iruka didn't know what to say, "I didnt think you believed in soulmates."

 _Smooth_ , inner Kakashi chuckled. Iruka mentally slapped himself.

There was a pause. The only sound was of the pieces of the mug gently clinking in Kakashi's gloved hand. 

"Soulmates," he stood and held out the pieces for Iruka to take, "soulmates aren't so far fetched I suppose. Though I did think the whole voice in the head thing was bull until literally six hours ago." Iruka took the pieces and Kakashi's fingers brushed his palm. "I know why you didn't tell me. But part of me still wishes you had. I might not have believed in the voice thing but..." Iruka was still wide eyed staring at the blue pieces in his hand. Time stretched on.

Finally Iruka whispered, more to the broken pieces of ceramic than to the other man, "I didn't know what to do honestly. I knew the moment I first heard you talk. Voices are easy for me to remember." Iruka finally pulled away to throw out the mug. 

_Was this seriously happening?_

_Finally_. Inner Kakashi said.

 _Not now._ Iruka thought 

Inner Kakashi pouted. 

_Great, was he going to have to deal with two Kakashis now?_ No according to what he's read the voice will usually quiet down when they're together. Only speaking up when they're apart for long periods of time or distance. Telling Iruka what the small part of his Soulmates soul that stays with him is thinking. Or if his soulmate is in distress. Iruka shivered at those memories. It wasn't so much a voice then as emotion pressed deep in the recesses of his mind eveyrtime Kakashi did something stupid or got too close to death. The loss of a part of him. Like a constant background noise just going silent. He wondered if the other man had felt something similar when Muzuki had attacked him.

"Iruka?" Kakashi pulled him back to his kitchen.

"Sorry what was that?"

Kakashi shook his head, "I'm sorry it took me so long. I- I had always associated the voice with Obito. Or my father." 

"I figured as much." Iruka smiled a little as he crossed his arms. He was too tired for this conversation, "honestly you didn't have to come all the way here this late just to discuss" he gestured between the two of them "this. It could have waited until morning. I understand if you don't want anything to change. It doesn't have to."

"I couldn't sleep knowing and not knowing if you knew. I tried. I really did," kakashi shook his head. He was still staring at Iruka. "I honestly don't know how you did it for so long" Kakashi trailed off as their eyes met. Iruka finally looked up at him. 

_Oh so that's what they mean by butterflies_. 

There was a kitchen table between the two of them so Iruka quickly went over to the other man and pulled him into a hug. 

"It wasn't so bad. As long as you came back." He whispered. 

"Im sorry" he said again. Hugging Iruka and putting his face in his hair. Iruka shook his head.

 _Oooh. Big mistake._ Kakashi thought as his body reacted to the way Iruka smelled. _Thats new as well._

 _You're an idiot._ Inner Iruka said 

_Don't you have somewhere better to be?_

_Don't you have a me to kiss?_

_Hmm. Good point._

But real Iruka beat him to it. Pulling down Kakashi's mask and kissing him with years of pent up desire. 

Definitely my Soulmate. Kakashi thought as he was pulled in the direction of the bedroom. 

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the kudos and comments. I was not expecting this to go over so well, so here's a small thing I wrote in the same universe. As usual, I own nothing.

_ Four. _ Iruka sipped his tea as the gentleman at the counter, with the rolled-up sleeves and messenger bag, left and sat down in a booth.

_ Six.  _ The voice in his head replied. 

Iruka’s gaze shifted across the cafe over the rim of his cup. A woman with blonde hair had her legs propped up and her nose shoved in a book. She reminded Iruka of someone.

_ Eight in the dark red sweater. _ The voice drew Iruka’s attention away and to the table next to him.

_ Three. _ Iruka responded wrinkling his nose.

_ Three? Are you blind? _

_ You can't smell him, be grateful.  _ Iruka smiled as an easy target came through the door.  _ Ooo. Nine. _

_ Nine? No. No. No. No. No. Two. Maybe a three.  _ Kakashi’s voice sounded horrified at the insinuation. 

_ Nine.  _ Iruka stayed firm on his decision, watching the muscles move beneath the tight fabric.

_ Nine? Seriously?  _

_ He loses a point for the jumpsuit. But I'm not blind. Have you ever hugged the man? Niine. _

_ You are never allowed to hug anyone, especially Gai, Ever. Again. _

Iruka laughed out loud and drew the attention of a few nearby customers. He quietly pretended to be reading the book he had opened flat on the table. 

_ Incoming. _ Kakashi suddenly said and Iruka felt the presence vanish from his thoughts. Which meant Kakashi was nearby. Which meant he was home from his mission. Coming to alertness Iruka tensed as Gai walked up to the table. 

"Iruka-sensei! You need to come quickly. My dear rival has returned but has been taken to the hospital and is in need of your presence to fully recover."

“This isn’t a ploy to get him to stay in the hospital is it?” Iruka asked as he gathered his things. His heart was beating rapidly despite his nonchalant attitude. He could surmise that Kakashi wasn’t in critical condition based on the voice, that much was true, but injuries, even minor, tend to take a turn for the worse. And knowing Kakashi... his injuries were probably borderline. 

“I assure you it is not.” Gai led Iruka out of the cafe and the two of them headed to the hospital. They walked past the front desk and made their way to a secluded wing where an Anbu guard stood outside the door. He nodded once at Gai and Iruka before stepping aside, returning to his position before the door had fully shut behind them. 

Iruka nearly paused at how pale Kakashi’s skin was in comparison to the sheets. Blue and purple bruises gracing the soft parts of his body, where new cuts and old scars covered every other visible part. Iruka’s mind was quiet but not enough for him to worry too much. 

“Thank you, Gai.” He said as he flopped down in the seat that had been pulled up beside the bed as if anticipating his arrival. 

“Of course. Anything for my dear friend and his soulmate. I am happy you are here for him Iruka-sensei. Truly I am.” Gai clasped a hand on Iruka’s shoulder before glancing one last time at Kakashi. “He should awake soon. I have to go hand in a report to the Hokage, or I would stay and keep you company.”

“Thank you, Gai. It will be alright.” Iruka pulled his book out of his bag as if he was preparing to read. As if he wasn’t on the verge of crying. 

“I am sure it will.” And with a last wave, Gai left the room. 

Iruka let himself start to worry. It never got easy. He reached out for the voice in his head and felt the buzz in the back of his mind. He opened his book and stared at the page, but kept flicking his gaze to Kakashi. His body was lying flat and abnormally still beneath the sheet and Iruka kept feeling his breath stop between Kakashi’s inhales and exhales, anticipating them to stop. A medical mask was now fitted over his face. There was blood caked in his hair. 

And Iruka kept looking. It was all he could do. 

Eventually, he got up and checked the clipboard at the end of the bed. There wasn’t much on there except for some medications they had administered and their times. Iruka recognized a common antidote to a commonly used poison, a common stabilizer for chakra exhaustion, and a sedative that would help Kakashi sleep through most of the healing process. Iruka put the clipboard back and let out a shaky breath as he sat down next to Kakashi’s legs. He had classes to plan and tests to grade and a shift at the missions desk tonight… Iruka knew none of that was going to happen. Not tonight. Not until Kakashi was awake and not until he knew he was going to be okay. 

\-------

The first thing Kakashi registered, was the tingling sensation throughout his body. Which meant he was chakra depleted again. And until his whole body came back online he would be subjected to painful pins and needles. The second thing he registered was that he was in the hospital. Again. And the third thing he registered was that in the seat next to his bed was a familiar and very tired looking chunin who happened to be nodding off. 

“Hey.” Kakashi’s voice was raw and hoarse and even though it was barely audible Iruka snapped to attention. He had bags beneath his red-rimmed eyes and Kakashi felt a pang of guilt at being the cause of both. 

“Hey.” Iruka’s voice was quiet, his hands were clasped together in his lap so that his knuckles were white, keeping himself from reaching out to Kakashi. Knowing any physical touch would be painful. “How are you feeling?”

“Better now that I am home.” Kakashi felt one of his toes twitch and he grimaced, “But I could do without the painful wake-up.”

“I will call the nurse.” Iruka stood.

“No.” 

“Kakashi-”

“No. They will just give me more sedatives. I don’t want them. Not when I can be here with you.”

“But you’re in pain.”

“Eh, it’s like a seven on the pain scale.”

“Kakashi.”

“Iruka.” The two of them stared at each other for a few moments before Iruka huffed and sat down in his chair again. “Thank you.”

“For allowing you to stew in your pain?”

“For saving me.”

“I did nothing of the sort.”

“You did. Out in the field. Not you physically, but the voice you. You kept me awake and got me back. Thank you.”

“And here I was drinking tea and people watching.”

“That sounds nice.”

“It was. Apparently, I am not allowed to hug anyone other than you anymore.”

“What sort of people watching were you doing?”

Iruka rubbed his scar self consciously, “The kind where you rate another person on a hotness scale of one to ten.”

“Oh?”

“You were very offended that I said Gai was a nine.”

“Hmm.”

“You still have him beat though.”

“Because I’m a ten?”

“I would say a nine-point five. No one’s a ten.”

“You’re a ten. Easily.”

“Kakashi,”

“Yes?”

“You’re the cheesiest person I know.” Iruka finally grabbed Kakashi’s hand. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the end of this collection. I hope you enjoyed it. 
> 
> Thank you for reading.


End file.
